He said “sure son, what do you need to know?”. “I had sex with another woman last night,” he tells her. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it sets him back $1.24M. I saw a chap chatting up a cheetah, I thought “he’s trying to pull a fast one”. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour…, This weekend sees the Goodwood Festival of Speed, followed by the British Grand Prix next weekend, so here is a series of speedy one liners on the topic of fast jokes. Tailor swift.

What do you call a quick moving newsreader? "No I'm travelling light". When he arrives he visits the first patient in his room and sees the patient defecating into his own hands and smearing it on the wall. Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew where I was.". A curious "fog" emerges from the vehicle.

Notify me of follow-up comments by email. I will turn my right blinker on to tell you that you are going too fast." He is told he will visit three patients and will be supervised by the institutes owner. (It’s basically impossible.)

Ayr Town Centre. English man throws out a cup of tea.

Why don’t racing drivers like stopping during a race? On the tray was a hamburger, a small bag of fries and a drink. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. ", ... And they get pulled over. "Why do we have two humps," asked the son.

I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick. It was so putrid that actual green gas was visible. After 20 mins as he was riding on his fast horse he heard someone coming from behind. Required fields are marked *. “But I was thinking of you the whole time.”. I"m never gonna run around and dessert you.

The man was a famous magician who would often go on tours to various cities.

A snail walks into a car dealership. The chieftain looks at them for a moment and says, “ The three of you will die unless you manage to d, The quizmaster approaches the first participant and asks him three questions -, Gets inside the house and sees his fathers shoes. There are no words in the English language that can describe the absolute rancidity of this fart. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious,yelling and swearing. “Oh, really? Fast Jokes; Randomness. All six perished, and found themselves in line at the gates of heaven. ', **NOTE: I'm TRYING TO TRANSLATE THIS JOKE FROM MY LANGUAGE TO ENGLISH HOPE IT TRANSLATES WELL AND SORRY FOR BAD GRAMMAR**, for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. in, Pranksters Interrupt Hurricane Matthew Coverage To Yell "D*cks Out for Harambe", Megachurch Pastor Tries To Justify His Lavish Lifestyle, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, When You Ask the Wrong Guy for Photoshop Help, 27 Awkward Times Celebrities Failed at Social Media, 56 Funny Memes and Pics to Help Pass the Time, 43 Funny Pics and Memes To Amuse and Delight, 17 Eye-Opening Things People Learned Online. After a few hundred meters, a person in a Lamborghini Urus speeds by. Intrigued by the ad, he goes in and asks the receptionist what this is all about. 'Wrong number. I do it and I’m a loser. The pastor explains to the man that in order to make the horse go, he must say "Thank God," and to make him stop, he must say "Amen." Quit my job as an escapologist. Our gorilla died this morning and tomorrow is Saturday so I can't get another gorilla that fast. Which part of Scotland was also Formula One World Champion? Justin.

Fast Jokes. They need to throw something out that they have a lot of or they will crash into the houses below.

To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. My local dress alteration company is really fast. He sipped, "But on the upside," I replied, "you haven't arrested me for drunk driving.".

She was doing 80 in a Honda and he was driving pasta. "Honey, my lips are swollen.

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. So, they went shopping.

Because it’s the pits. As normal don’t expect these to be in pole position in the originality or hilarity stakes…

... Driver gets out only to see someone pull up in a Porsche Cayenne.

If you want, we have a gorilla costume and if y, The man picks up, listens for a second and says, 'How the hell would I know, you idiot? In always stays inside, and Out always stays outside. The photon replies. And then tell them to say "for it" 5 times fast again. Sure eno, There are 3 flies in a jar with the lid sealed, A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Bugatti Veyron 16.4. Best meal for those who don’t like fast food?

A Scottish man, English man and an American are in a hot air balloon.

(They’ll probably say milk, but it’s actually water.) Your email address will not be published.

Ask someone to say “toy boat” over and over really fast.

who loved his job.

Uploaded 11/04/2008 It was that since her husband's passing, she was having trouble getting satisfaction, and she was told that they had something to help. Now I don't know where I am! The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called.... Fast … Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn’t be affected. Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math", They came across an Ancient Mayan temple which had three doors. Lada driver replies with a "Yes. You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. It was some jerk asking if the coast was clear.

The piano was playing, the whiskey was flowing, everyone was having the time of their lives. I think I may have an allergic reaction! This time the tour was longer than usual. A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, He locked her in her room and gave the keys to his minister and ordered him that if I don't come back in 10 days then she is yours. He slows down and ushers his friend to pull down the window. After wandering around for days, they are found and captured by a jungle tribe. Cayenne driver asks him does he need a tow. A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, run by a few gruff sisters.

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